I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
