no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize