Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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