My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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