mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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