it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
