wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize