My nipple is on Facebook.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
