nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize