What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
