yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
