i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
this is an emotional support booty call
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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