if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
