So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
