My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
