me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
