he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i dont even know how to be here
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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