I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
