that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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