If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I enjoy the company of your penis
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
