I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize