Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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