if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
All I want is dick and wine.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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