Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
