What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
