Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize