I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
