Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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