I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
