please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
