I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
