Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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