you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
there's paper in my vomit.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize