Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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