his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
