I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My pussy is not your playground.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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