Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize