I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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