We named our party play list daddy issues
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
