I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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