whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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