you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
