Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
