Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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