Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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