dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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