whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
