So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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