I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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