Welp...herpes.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
