Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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