i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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