i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
