okay pat passed out under dana's car
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize