Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
