I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
